Izere Imosemi: A Millionaire At 29, That’s Five Years Late!

The title above is a catchy advertising statement that keeps getting my attention in several parts of the city where I live. Each time I see the caption, I ask myself if Nigeria, as it is presently, can actually produce a millionaire at 29 as boldly stated by the advert. As an undergraduate studying Law in a Nigerian university, my dad had a solid piece of advice for me; he would say, ‘Suffer for five years and enjoy forever.’ He said this to motivate me to work very hard at my studies, get good grades and graduate with a First Class or a Second Class Upper Division. He reckoned that whatever inconvenience one had to endure during one’s sojourn as an undergraduate should be borne gallantly, as such inconvenience would be greatly compensated when one graduates with a First Class or Second Class upper division, and thereafter gets rewarded by being gainfully employed, and ultimately enjoys the good things of life. He was convinced that a good university grade was a ‘harbinger’ of the good life the gospel of which he preached to me. I believed him because he meant well. And ‘suffer’ I did, like most students in Nigerian tertiary institutions, where electricity outage was (is) a norm. I literally burnt candles, attended lectures in overcrowded lecture theatres, copied my notes, did my assignments, bought lecturers’ handouts and textbooks at exorbitant prices. In fact, I did everything a good student should do, and what I had to show for it five years after was a very hard-earned second-class upper degree, and a pair of recommended glasses that cannot be done without. My degree certificate, and subsequently my call to Bar certificate, were supposed to be my key to wealth and prosperity, or at the barest minimum, my key to the good life. Now, five years after graduation and almost four years after being called to the Nigerian Bar, I have yet to ‘enjoy’ as my dad promised. This is not just my story; it is the story of many Nigerian youths. A lot of them, brilliant, smart, hard working and ambitious, whose only crime was being born in a society governed by extremely corrupt and selfish leaders. Leaders whose selfish and corrupt acts have not only weakened our institutions, but are threatening to destroy whatever good we have left. Many Nigerian youths at some point, had lofty dreams and aspirations such as conquering the information technology world, or becoming the next Bill Gates, or being ‘somebody’ or doing ‘something’ that would affect the world and perhaps put ‘them’ and their country in the eyes of the world for a positive reason. But, like a friend once wrote on her Facebook page recently, as you grow older, life becomes less about achieving your dreams and more about making your dreams fit into reality because the Nigerian society appears not to be very dream-friendly in terms of helping her youths and the entire citizenry aspire to become the very best they can be. Speaking of Facebook, which a Nigerian minister (who should have known better, with regard to the nature of his office) graciously thanked our President for bringing to our country. One wonders if this minister ever knew that Mark Zuckerberg, one of the four co-founders of the social network site used by almost every internet savvy and not so savvy person in the world, launched the site as a 20-year-old Harvard undergraduate. Presently, not only is Zuckerberg one of the richest young people in the world, thanks to him, social networking has taken on a whole new meaning and a new place in the state of affairs of today’s world. Today, we wonder what a 20-year-old Nigerian can create. The question we should ask ourselves is, were Zuckerberg a Nigerian, (emphasis on born and bred, not American or British trained) would he have founded Facebook? Does the Nigerian society as it is have the capacity to develop geniuses? From all indications, particularly from our decayed educational system and the structural Nigerian system generally, it appears to me that the Nigerian society ‘kills’ geniuses rather than creates a viable environment to promote innovation and enterprise. I attended the last convocation ceremony of the University of Lagos where the overall best graduating student was a mechanical engineering student. Today, I hear he works in a bank in Lagos. If true, how sad! How pathetic! In a sane society, the lad would have been whisked off by the government or some top engineering firm, his intellect would be have been prodded, his mind pushed until the genius in him comes to fore. The just concluded 2012 London Olympics is a case in point too. The abysmal performance of Nigerian athletes has very little to do with the absence of talent or skill but more to do with institutional deficiencies in sport, training and development in the country. The sad truth is that Nigerian youths are working very hard but are barely getting by. What makes the situation sadder and more pitiful is the constant and the seemingly endless reports of corrupt leaders, top government officials, supposedly senior citizens, siphoning public funds brazenly and getting away with it while Nigerian youths watch helplessly as their future is taken out of their reach. In Nigeria, it is commonplace to find many young people between the ages of 25 and 30 years still living with their parents or older relatives, still dependent one way or the other, not by choice but by circumstance. This ought not to be! It is the young that should take care of the old and not vice –versa. It is very frustrating and psychologically debilitating for young people going through this phase. Ideally, in a society that has done its work and paid its dues in bringing up her youths, a 25-30 year-old man or woman should be completely independent of his or her parents or relatives in every sense and should at that age start giving back to the society. This is, sadly, not so in Nigeria; there is nothing normal about this situation and it should not be accepted! Just as a parent of a five-year-old child who still crawls and fails to walk should be alarmed and worried, our leaders should be worried, if at that age the majority of our youths have not attained full financial responsibility and are still being catered for like teenagers or children. This is really sad and portends great danger for the future of our country. Beyond the failed political leadership and poor economic situation that have plagued our country and contributed to the pitiful plight of Nigerian youths, it seems that the society is configured to regard young people as incompetent and incapable. A little while ago, a serving youth corps member at the National Assembly in an article in a national newspaper wrote that youth corps members serving in the National Assembly were reduced to mere errand boys to carry out menial assignments like serving tea and kola nuts to the lawmakers. If true, how derogatory and demeaning! What a waste of young active minds and talents! It is time our leaders realised that young people in the right environment, with the right motivation and the right education can effectively hold positions of leadership and execute projects brilliantly. One does not have to be 50 years old before one becomes a CEO; a 28-year-old CEO can do just fine! And a 30-year-old senator can do just fine too, after all, what good have our older politicians and leaders done? In reality, becoming a millionaire at the age of 24 in Nigeria without making recourse to ‘yahoo yahoo’ (Nigerian acronym for internet fraud), pilfering funds, or being used as a political thug or winning the grand prize in the Big Brother Africa or any other reality TV shows or becoming a pop star or sportsman, is a near impossibility. It is possible to become a millionaire at the age of 24 legitimately (as Mark has shown us), in a society that is engineered to encourage and reward hard work. Truthfully, Nigeria is not that society yet and until Nigeria becomes that society, corporate organisations and advertising agencies need to be very mindful of the messages behind their advertisements. It is my humble submission that, to put up an advertisement with an inscription that reads ‘a millionaire at 29, that’s 5years too late’ to promote a product that is largely patronised by young people in Nigeria, is to throw existing realities into the bin in the name of creativity. -Imosemi, a partner in the law firm of Fieldings and Grey Solicitors, Lagos wrote in via izereimosemi@yahoo.co.uk

Did You Know You Could Injure Your Junk Like This?

1. Laptop Cooker

Guys, if you have been using your laptop by balancing it on your lap, your little guys might have been getting more than they bargained for. Laptops can get pretty hot, and if you rest it right on top of your testes, they will get pretty hot, too.

Studies have shown that critical temperatures can be achieved in as little as 10 minutes of laptop use, and you might not even be able to tell the difference! Overheating your testicles can cause a score of problems, including infertility and second degree burns

2. Zip It

It's probably not shocking that the most common penis injury is catching your little guy in the zipper of your pants. It actually accounts for 1 out of every 4,000 male visits to the emergency room. Most of those guys weren't wearing any underwear at the time, so think about that the next time you consider going commando.

3. The Never Ending Erection

I'm sure you've seen this situation in several movies or TV shows: a man takes a Viagra and gets an erection that won't quit, and hilarity ensues. Only, this actually happens, and it's not so hilarious.
During an erection, blood rushes to the penis and stays there, rather than circulating in and out, bringing fresh oxygen to keep the tissues alive. If an erection goes on for too long, the tissues can get damaged and die, and you could be left with erectile dysfunction for the rest of your life. So if you ever experience an erection that lasts for more than four hours, don't call Guinness, call a doctor!

4. Let's (Not) Do the Twist

Testicular torsion is something you don't ever want your boys to experience. During torsion, the cords that lead from the testicle to the abdomen get twisted around. There are certain situations that make this more likely to happen, such as physical activity or cold weather (when your testes want to climb up inside to get warm); but really, it can happen at any time.

If it does happen, you will know. Symptoms include severe pain and scrotal swelling and perhaps even nausea and vomiting because the pain is just that darn bad. This type of injury is a medical emergency because the blood supply to your testicle is being cut off. So scoot your way to the ER pronto; or in about six hours, you may be left with only one little buddy instead of two.

5. The Gloves Come Off

There is one horrible testicle injury that, thankfully, is pretty rare. It's so terrible that even the name incites horror. It's called "degloving."

Most degloving injuries involve the scrotum getting caught in something, such as heavy machinery, and the skin is peeled away from the testicle -- like a glove. If that doesn't make you shudder.

6. You're Breaking My Balls

You've probably seen hundreds, if not thousands, of videos of guys getting punched, kicked and otherwise slammed in the testicles; and you probably laughed and laughed. You might not have laughed as hard if you knew it was possible for those guys to actually break their balls.

It's called testicular rupture, and it is probably the worst pain a man will ever feel. It happens when a man suffers an injury to the testicles so severe that an actual rip in the protective covering occurs. The only way to fix it is with surgery. Think about that the next time you punch your buddy in the nuts as a joke.

Broken Boner

But wait, didn't we all learn a long time ago that a boner isn't really a bone? So how can it break? Well, when you break your penis, you aren't actually breaking a bone, you are breaking the spongy tissues that fill with blood when you get an erection. They get hard enough to cause a stiffy and, therefore, hard enough to break when introduced to severe trauma. In fact, when broken, the tissues can even cause a popping sound. Surgery can typically fix this injury, but let's avoid that if possible.